If Nobody Has Apologized for What Happened, I will…

That feeling of someone unexpectedly ripping your heart out of your chest and smashing it on the floor? I know that feeling all too well.

A couple years ago I was ghosted by a guy who love-bombed me for 3 months. He was charming, funny, and my family and friends loved him.

He said all the right things, at the right times, to make me think this was going somewhere serious…somewhere long term. We had already been friends for years, and it felt like a good fit until one day I woke up and never heard from him again.

This experience was brutal. Partly because I lost five years of friendship on top of the hope of a potential relationship, and there was no closure or explanation of why he left. He made so many promises he didn’t keep, and I never got a real apology, which might have been the worst part of the whole thing.

If you’re going through a break-up or experiencing the loss of a significant relationship in your life, I’m praying you know you’re not alone. And if nobody has apologized to you for what happened, I will.

I’m sorry that you’re having to live in this new, unwanted reality of it just being you.

I’m sorry you’re having to grieve the loss of a person and relationship you thought you’d have forever.

I’m sorry he made promises he couldn’t keep or follow through with.

I’m sorry it hurts so bad your chest physically aches.

I’m sorry he left without giving you any explanation or closure.

I’m sorry he’s acting unaffected by your absence—like he’s completely unbothered and has already moved on.

I’m so sorry, and I wish I could hug you. Give yourself grace and permission to gently move through today, putting one foot in front of the other. God is going to take care of you and your heart in ways he never could. Promise.

As always, this is a piece of my heart. Consider it yours. 🦋

Your guy hasn’t texted you back, either?

Your guy hasn’t texted you back yet, either? Unfortunately, it looks like we’re in the same boat. So, let's just be real—it sucks. I’m just as annoyed, frustrated, and confused as you are…and I’m really sorry.

I wish neither of us were in this position, but here we are. At least we’re in it together.

Here’s some of the things I’ve been telling myself lately to help calm my anxiety and soothe the part of me that’s afraid of being left or ghosted without explanation. I’m praying that they help calm your anxious heart, too.

Me to me (& you to you):

1. I promise to sit with you in the middle of uncomfortable feelings. I will not abandon you to face them alone, nor will I rush you through them. 

2. God is never going to leave you. “Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deuteronomy 31:8

3. I will not abandon you to go be with someone else. It’s important to me that you feel safe with both me and the guy we’re seeing. I love having you with me. 

4. You are so fun and a joy to be around. Any guy would be insanely lucky to have you.

I would encourage you to say these out loud to yourself, or write them down and put them somewhere you can see them. As always, this is a piece of my heart. Consider it yours. 🦋

(Inspired by journal entry October 12th, 2023)

Dating in My Teen Years

My early teen years were such a wild time in my life—especially while trying to navigate dating. I dated guys I shouldn’t have, kissed boys whose names I don’t remember, and got my heart broken one too many times (by the same man).

Lately I’ve been having so many different stories from that time make their way back to the forefront of my mind—and I think it’s God’s way of telling me it’s time to share them because they’re part of my testimony.

They’re how I came to know Jesus,
how I started writing,
and what made me passionate about mentoring young girls and women.

And I feel like so many people need to hear that God doesn’t just slap a bandaid on your broken heart and call it good…He loves you enough to take his time healing the deepest, most broken places in your spirit.

God sits with you in the grieving,
the crying,
the anger,
the tears,
the “why me” questions & confusion over why that guy didn’t love you enough to treat you like you deserved.

God draws near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18) and the same way He’s held my hand through different seasons of devastating heartbreak, he’ll hold onto yours, too.

I’m praying that as I start sharing more of these stories on here, and on my social media pages, you’ll be encouraged to not settle for less than you deserve and remember that God WANTS to heal your broken heart and restore what was lost. And if you have a sister, daughter, granddaughter, or friend that is struggling with a broken heart or going through a break-up, I would love for you to share these posts with them so they feel less alone.

Thank you for being here, for reading, and for holding different parts of my story with so much grace and compassion. I appreciate it more than you know.

This is a (new) piece of my heart that I’m beginning to share with you all. Consider it yours. 🦋

The Lord Moves Powerfully with Small Steps of Faith

July was a challenging “dream chasing” month. I had so many moments where I struggled with trusting God to show up and provide what I need to chase my God-sized dreams. Like increased capacity, creative energy, a more available schedule so I can give my writing and content creation the time and attention it needs (while also working full time, showing up for my friends and family, taking care of my body, practicing self-care, and enjoying how fun life is).

Recently I asked my Instagram audience if they would be interested in seeing a “day in the life” reel. And most of them said yes because they want to see how I balance building a writing career, creating social media content, and working full time as a Social Media Manager and Strategist for a large brand. And the truth? I don’t know how I do it…and some days, I can only focus on one thing at a time because it’s all I have to give. But you know what I am certain of? I do the best I can. And God can work with that.

I think of Matthew 17:20 when Jesus says to his disciples, “You don’t have enough faith…I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.”

I know that even if all I have to offer is 20 minutes at the end of my day while I eat chicken tenders for dinner, that’s enough for God to work with. Faith as small as a mustard seed. And if all I have is 45 minutes here, 3 hours there, or 45 minutes here, 1 hour there to chip away at some of my projects…He can work with that.

So as I’m reminding myself, I’m also reminding you— the Lord moves powerfully with small steps of faith. And if you need a nap? He can work with that too because it honors your need for rest and prevents burnout.

This is a piece of my heart— consider it yours.🩵🦋

Spiritual Warfare

Do you ever look around at other people and compare their relationship with God to yours? You might ask yourself questions like, “Why does it look so easy for them?” or “Why do they appear to have so much peace and I’m still full of anxiety?”

It’s easy to be doing everything “right” in our relationship with God, but still feel like we’re missing a step. There’s been so many times where I’ve questioned why God feels absent in my life, while other people are so on fire for the Lord. I don’t get it, why does this look so easy for them? It’s hard enough to even pick up my Bible right now, let alone to actually get myself to read it.

I remember sitting with a college friend in the cafeteria and telling him about how much I was struggling in my walk with God. I was looking around at my peers and listening to them talk in Bible studies about how inspired they were by His word. They just couldn’t wait to wake up at six in the morning and do their devotion. But me? At the time, I was anything but inspired. I was unmotivated and discouraged. I felt disconnected from God, and comparing my journey to theirs only made it worse.

Sometimes life is hard because it’s life and we’re living in a broken world. Other times, though, life can be abnormally difficult because it’s spiritual warfare. In Ephesians 6:12 we’re reminded that “we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” And I’ve noticed that usually the fight gets harder when we’re doing something right.

It happens when we’re walking the path God has called us to walk,

when we’re about to experience a breakthrough,

when we’re leading a small group,

when we’re pursuing purity in dating, 

when we’re sharing our faith with others. 

It’s when we’re seeking God and His will for our lives that the enemy comes to cause chaos.

So if you’re struggling to draw near to God, I don’t think it’s always going to be because you’re doing something wrong. If anything, it could be because you’re doing something right. So pause and see if you should keep going.

Keep walking the narrow path that leads to life (Matthew 7:14),

keep reading your Bible, 

keep going to church,

keep seeking out wise mentorship,

keep praying with, and over, your friends and relationships,

and honestly, if all you have is frustration, or tears, as an offering to God, that’s enough.

So remember these things the next time you’re ready to quit:

1. You can’t compare your walk with God to someone else’s.

2. Memorize and quote scripture. We see Jesus do this in Matthew 4:1-11 when He’s fighting temptation. Write it on your bathroom mirror, or in any other place you know you’re going to see it.

3. If life is abnormally hard, it’s worth considering that you might be doing something right. Pray, use wise discernment, and remember that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

4. Ask others to pray with you and over you. Be open and honest. Ask God the hard questions. Our walk with God is allowed to be messy.

God wants all of us—not just bits and pieces. He knows what’s around the corner. He isn't blindsided or thrown off by what’s next. He’s got you.

As always, this is a piece of my heart. Consider it yours. Be free to fly.

You’re Allowed to Slow Down

Your mom is at the nail salon and says she’ll call you later, so you call your brother and briefly catch him before he walks into work. Your best friend is frantically trying to finish her grad school paper and submit it before midnight, and you’re eating breakfast on your way to the office because you’re running behind (again). On top of that, you don’t even remember your drive to work. It’s like you blinked and then you were there. 

“Everyone is always so busy, rushing around from one thing to the next…including myself,” you think to yourself. Sometimes you’ll even grab a banana on your way out the door, eat and work through your lunch break, and inhale a protein shake before running out your door to go to your 6pm gym class.

Breathe in, breathe out.

I’m just here to tell you you’re allowed to take your time eating,

driving to your next destination,

getting to know others,

learning to trust again,

healing. 

We live in a culture that always seems to be rushed, and I’m guilty of this, too. But if we’re always rushing, we don’t have time to stop and smell the roses (both literally and figuratively). Or to do anything that refuels your body, refreshes your mind and restores your soul.

You’re allowed to slow down, to breathe deep, to actually remember your time to work or to church or to school or to the gym or wherever it is that you’re going. You deserve to walk and not run.

What do you smell?

What do you hear?

What do you feel?

What do you see?

God created the people, places, and things around us to not only be noticed, but to be enjoyed. So, for today– and yes, just focus on today– let’s slow down and smell the roses.

As always, this is a piece of my heart. Consider it yours. 🦋

Inspired by Journal Entries July 27, 2023 and July 1, 2024

To the Girl Healing from a Traumatic Injury

In March of 2021, I was in a cheerleading accident that resulted in a severe concussion. To say that it was life-changing would be a understatement. I couldn’t drive for 10 months, and for the first full year of my recovery, I couldn’t run or lift weights—I couldn’t really exercise at all. I was in physical therapy, speech therapy, vision therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy and was diagnosed with a cardiovascular autonomic disorder (POTS) caused by the trauma of my brain injury—I was a shell of myself and learning to trust my body again.

There was a time when I truly believed I would feel 60% normal for the rest of my life … but it’s been over 4 years since the accident now, and this is the most I’ve felt like myself since. If you’re discouraged in your healing … keep going. God is preparing you for big things, good things.

Know that you are made for so much more than what you can do at a workout, practice, or game. You are made to show the love and tenderness of God, to share your story, and to empower others to keep showing up in their recovery, too.

I want you to know that you’re incredibly brave. I’m proud of the person you are right now, regardless of where you are in your journey—healing is hard and not linear. So like the woman in the Bible (Matthew 9:20-21), keep reaching for the fringe of His robe, even when healing seems unreachable. You got this!

As always, this is a piece of my heart. Consider it yours. 🦋

To the Girl Moving Away From Home

I haven’t lived close to my hometown in 7 years. I grew up in Tennessee, went to college in Alabama, and am now living and working in Michigan. There’s so many things I wish I would’ve known before leaving…so here’s three things I wish I would have know before moving out of my hometown.

1. I wish I would’ve known that moving far from home meant something or someone would always be missing. When I’m in MI, I’m not anywhere near my family or roots because I grew up in TN…and when I’m in TN, I’m not anywhere near my community, the job I love, or the city I’ve made a life for myself in. It’s bittersweet.

2. I had no clue that I would form such a deep appreciation and love for where I came from. I’m always looking for reasons to go back (whereas before I was always DREAMING of the day I would graduate high-school so I could leave and never return lol).

3. I wish I would’ve known I could visit my tiny TN hometown for four days or four weeks and it would never feel like long enough (but would always be looking forward to going back to MI at the same time).

Leaving home to go back home doesn’t always get easier, but I’m so thankful to have three different places that I consider home. Grief and gratitude can co-exist.

As always, this is a piece of my heart. Consider it yours. 🦋

To the Girl Who Feels Overlooked by God

Joy. Love. Hope. Peace. The freedom to be able to dance in his presence and delight in his grace. To walk on water and dance on the waves. To twirl in His presence, trusting deep in your spirit that you are known. You are heard. You are seen. And you are loved.

God knows your name. He knows your every thought and the dreams you hide deep within your heart. He knows, so sometimes I think it’s okay that we don’t know. I think it is okay to not have all the answers because He does.

He knows your graduation date. He knows your wedding date, the due date of your first child if these things are in His plan for you (and if not, He has something better). He knows the exact address of the first house you’ll buy, and which side of the street it’ll be on. He knows where and how He will use you tomorrow, the next day, and the next day. He has intentionally and purposefully planned out each day of your life. He will place you somewhere in this world with a specific purpose, and it’ll be good. It’ll be satisfying. It’ll be worth it. And ultimately, it’ll glorify God, which is the reason we live and breathe.

So my prayer for you and I today is that we will not only be okay with the unknown but welcome it. Because the Creator, the One who taught the waves to pursue the shore and the One who knows every single name in this world knows—and that alone is enough.

As always, this is a piece of my heart. Consider it yours. 🦋

To the Girl Who Needs More Alone Time

More often than not, I give away a lot of my time and energy to others and pour my heart into different activities. Only when I’m on the verge of a meltdown, I realize that I haven’t had any time for myself.

If you are anything like me and have a hard time saying no or feel like there’s not enough time in a day to have 5 minutes to yourself, I’m going to share with you something I learned one year at summer camp: put YOU on YOUR schedule. Write down your self-care, personalize it, give it a set time, a set day, and then protect it. Do everything you can to make sure you have that time to recharge and rest.

You can use that time to read the book you love that’s been sitting on your shelf for months. You can go for a short run to clear your head. You can spend time in the word and in prayer. You can take a bath or go get a smoothie. You can love on your pets or take a nap. You can watch your favorite movie or go to a coffee shop.

Take care of yourself and put YOU on YOUR schedule. I’m rooting for you!!

As always, this is a piece of my heart. Consider it yours. 🦋